A lover would just complicate my plans
So I will never look for love again
I’m taking matters into my own hands

I think I could last at least a week
without someone to hold me

First Orgasm, Dresden Dolls
She’s the kind of girl who leaves out
Condoms on the bedroom dresser
Just to make you jealous of
The men she fucked before you met her
Dirty Business, The Dresden Dolls

Amnesiac’s Top Five Anti-Love Songs!

Because Valentine’s Day is fucking stupid. 

Before we begin - these aren’t just break up songs. There is a huge difference between a heart broken ballad and a straight out anti-love song. Anti-love songs spit in the face of love and relationships and all they represent. They are about (at least temporarily) deciding to give up on all the love bull shit completely. Some of these stray from the whole ‘spitting’ side of things a little, but they still show the ugly side of love/romance in a manner beyond your run of the mill break up song. They’re also all, you know, made up of my taste in music, so even though You Oughta Know is a truly epic anti-love song, you will not find it on this list. 
(click on titles for link to song)  

#5: Silverchair - Miss You Love 

I love the way you love 
But I hate the way I’m supposed to love you back

This song is different to the others on the list in that it’s not about deciding love isn’t worth it, or becoming bitter after so many failed relationships. It’s about being incapable of love and hating both yourself and those you try to connect to for it, being frustrated with the very idea of love because you have no idea how it works or if it even exists. It’s also one of the reasons I will never stop loving silverchair. 

#4: The Dresden Dolls – Coin Operated Boy

Can you extract me from my plastic fantasy
I didn’t think so but I’m still convincible
Will you persist even after I bet you
A million dollars that I’ll never love you?

This ventures so far into disillusionment that illusions are the only escape left. It’s not just loneliness – it’s what happens when you can no longer trust yourself in relationships because you’re so sick of hurting people.

#3: Death Cab For Cutie - Tiny Vessels

So one last touch and then we’ll go
And we’ll pretend that it meant something so much more
But it was vile and it was cheap
And you are beautiful, but you don’t mean a thing to me

Quite simply the ultimate ode to the loveless relationship.  No more needs to be said.

#2: Bright Eyes - Take It Easy (love nothing)

Now I do as I please, I lie through my teeth
Someone might get hurt but it won’t be me
I should probably feel cheap, but I just feel free
And a little bit empty.

This is what giving up sounds like. Even more so than the far more well-known Lover I Don’t Have To Love. In the latter, you don’t really believe him, you kind of suspect that what he’s doing is slowly killing him. You believe every word of this song, and it leaves you feeling a little bit empty as well. I’ll admit that the realisation that it’s probably referring to the same woman as First Day Of My Life makes this song far more heartbreaking, and is part of the reason I love it so much. Read both sets of lyrics side by side if you don’t believe me.

#1: The Whitlams – Up Against The Wall

Some say love only comes once in a life time
Well, once is enough for me
She was one in a million
So there’s five more just in New South Wales

I know, I said no break up songs, but this is the very definition of anti-love. I can’t think of a single song that shows such utter disdain for everything associated with love. Freedman isn’t just sad or heart broken, he hasn’t just lost faith in his ability to love. This is the kind of bitterness that looks at a young couple in love, laugh, and ask them who they thinking they’re kidding

catpolitics:

Wish I could mail order a boyfriend just for when I’m bored/need one.

I have three words for you Morsal:
Coin Operated Boy.